Like everyone in a bad marriage, I am a hypocrite. I consistently preach to my idiot about using a nicer tone of voice yet I can't muster it myself most of the time. We question each others' motives so much that any comment, any question is fraught with layers-deep suspicion.
Appropriate tone of voice is hard to prove. Trust me. No matter how many times I've said "that was a really rude tone of voice", my husband argues it wasn't, and throws in his perennial follow-up: "you should have heard the way you talked to me".
But I caught him red handed this weekend. I was in a room, talking to a toddler, playing cutesy games with her when I uttered a "what are you doing" in a play-like suspicious voice, the kind you use on a toddler playing a hiding game or something similar. As fate would have it, my idiot walked into the room at the exact moment I uttered that phrase to the baby, and he immediately starting yelling, "WHAT?! I'M CLEANING UP A ROOM!". A complete knee-jerk reaction, as always.
I smiled, said I was talking to the toddler and that his reaction was unwarranted and proved malice. He walked out of the room and didn't talk to me for a while - his way of handling defeat. He was afraid I'd rub it in or lecture him about it.
Too bad it won't change his behavior. He just can't help himself.
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