The most maddening aspect of my marriage is the way my idiot approaches daily life versus "the events". So day in and day out, we argue incessantly. We scream (yes, in front of the kids sometimes), we hate, we play passive-aggressive games, we make each others' lives unbearable. But on a birthday? Or a holiday? Or Valentine's Day? Well, my husband decides to wipe the slate clean for a day and try to play nice. I end up seething mad over the insanity.
I think this is psychotic. He is either deeply screwed up (a possibility, given his atrocious upbringing), or he is desperate to make the 'appearances' match the occasion. Whichever it is - and I'm still trying to determine which one it is - it drives me totally mad. At least I'm consistently angry and disrespectful. I could tolerate consistency better than I can tolerate the highs and lows he adds to our relationship.
The other bipolar-like behavior is exhibited every day when I juxtapose "working hours" attitude against "in the home" attitude. While at work, and via text messaging (we try really hard not to talk to each other), he is Mr. Happy, Mr. Helpful - all because he's away at work and in control of his destiny. Once he re-enters my realm of control (home) he becomes surly and rude. Despite wishing I had more help with the kids, I am now realizing it's just easier when he's gone. At least the dark cloud isn't hanging over the home.
Am I alone in believing consistency is better than on-again/off-again attempts to be pleasant?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment