I need your input on this article:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/17/tf.is.cheating.ever.deserved/index.html
The author implies that Kate (of Jon & Kate Plus 8 fame) "deserved" to be cheated on because of her treatment of Jon.
Really?
I mean, on the one hand, I agree. If my husband is caught cheating (and likely is for the same reasons Jon might be), I'll think 'yeah, what else did I expect him to do?'. But on the other hand, I'll be thinking, 'hmmmm, let's see, the mature response would have been to take the bull by its horns years ago and address our marital issues, before it all got to the point of hatred, resentment, and cheating, but instead my idiot eschewed help and decided to screw other women.'
What's your take?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Guys Are Dumb
I've spent two days not yelling at my idiot. That is a record. A few cross words here and there have been uttered, but not the usual barrage of crap I give him. And I can tell he thinks things are great, things are much improved. Ha ha ha.
You girls know that when a woman hits this point, it means she has given up. It means things are actually taking a turn for the worse. And that's where I am right now.
I just need to make that phone call.
You girls know that when a woman hits this point, it means she has given up. It means things are actually taking a turn for the worse. And that's where I am right now.
I just need to make that phone call.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Who Is The Drama Queen?
Him: "It looks like the kid got knocked in the side of her mouth, and her teeth are all dead, they're all black. Do you know what happened?"
Me: "What?! What in the world are you talking about? If you really thought this, why wouldn't you have had me check her mouth tonight before putting her to bed? She hasn't gotten hurt at all, as far as I know."
Then idiot and older kid leave to talk to a neighbor, and I sneak into room to check kid's mouth. I braced myself for a bad sight, and what did I find? Perfectly normal teeth, a little grayish from normal tooth staining. Absolutely nothing to be concerned about. Nothing even worth noting.
My idiot is all about the drama. He loves to state everything in absolute terms - 'always' and 'never' are his favorites. As in this morning's comment: "you always get time to yourself. When do I ever get a break?" Not only do I rarely get time to myself, so he's delusional or lying, but he then had to add the whiny self-pity bit on the end. Which makes him that much more disgusting.
Me: "What?! What in the world are you talking about? If you really thought this, why wouldn't you have had me check her mouth tonight before putting her to bed? She hasn't gotten hurt at all, as far as I know."
Then idiot and older kid leave to talk to a neighbor, and I sneak into room to check kid's mouth. I braced myself for a bad sight, and what did I find? Perfectly normal teeth, a little grayish from normal tooth staining. Absolutely nothing to be concerned about. Nothing even worth noting.
My idiot is all about the drama. He loves to state everything in absolute terms - 'always' and 'never' are his favorites. As in this morning's comment: "you always get time to yourself. When do I ever get a break?" Not only do I rarely get time to myself, so he's delusional or lying, but he then had to add the whiny self-pity bit on the end. Which makes him that much more disgusting.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
$20,000 Big Ones
So my idiot, who consistently works too much, argues for the importance of his job over mine, and never, ever compromises his working hours for me, or sick kids, or anything else, posted a whopping $20,000 to our bottom line in 2008. Yes, you read that correctly.
Even accounting for a little 'cooking the books' (as he is a small business owner), and cash payments, I don't believe that means he made more than $35,000 last year.
You've got to be kidding.
I finally read our tax return the other night, and let me assure you that Jon & Kate Plus 8 style belittling has been the action in our household since then. Every comment I make when we discuss work is along the lines of "oh, so you can go out and make so much money today?" Mean and spiteful, yes, but oh so well deserved after five years of fighting over money.
I hate him more than I ever have. And I am determined to protect myself, and the kids, from his financial idiocy, one way or the other.
Even accounting for a little 'cooking the books' (as he is a small business owner), and cash payments, I don't believe that means he made more than $35,000 last year.
You've got to be kidding.
I finally read our tax return the other night, and let me assure you that Jon & Kate Plus 8 style belittling has been the action in our household since then. Every comment I make when we discuss work is along the lines of "oh, so you can go out and make so much money today?" Mean and spiteful, yes, but oh so well deserved after five years of fighting over money.
I hate him more than I ever have. And I am determined to protect myself, and the kids, from his financial idiocy, one way or the other.
I Know You Don't Like The Sound Of My Voice, But ...
We're in sick kid chaos. Sick kids suck, and sick kids cause lots of yelling around our household.
Saturday night around 10:30pm, one kid wakes up screaming - a sure indicator of an ear infection for this kid. Conversation goes like this:
Me: "If you want to get any sleep tonight, you might as well dose her with Motrin now."
Him: "OK, how much do I give her?"
Me: "1 teaspoon"
(Mind you, after 4 1/2 years of having kids and non-stop ear infections, he really ought to know this dosage off the top of his head too.)
Sunday, I take the kid to the clinic and get the official diagnosis. I pick up the antibiotics, drop her off at the house, and try corralling my oldest child to go to lunch with me (leaving idiot with the other two sick kids at home). It's before noon, barely 12 hours after the previous conversation. New conversation goes like this:
Me: "You need to give her both the antibiotics and the Motrin."
Him: "How much Motrin do I give her?"
Me: "Are you JOKING? I just told you last night. Do you remember? Do you listen? Do you commit details to memory?! How about you try to remember and let me know what you come up with."
Him: "I don't remember."
Me: "Try. This is really frightening, and as I've said before, you need to consult someone about this ADHD I think you have."
Him: "Ummm, 3/4 of a teaspoon?"
Me: "No!"
Him: "Ummm, 1 teaspoon?"
Sometimes, I amaze myself by actually thinking he should be trusted to be alone with these kids.
Saturday night around 10:30pm, one kid wakes up screaming - a sure indicator of an ear infection for this kid. Conversation goes like this:
Me: "If you want to get any sleep tonight, you might as well dose her with Motrin now."
Him: "OK, how much do I give her?"
Me: "1 teaspoon"
(Mind you, after 4 1/2 years of having kids and non-stop ear infections, he really ought to know this dosage off the top of his head too.)
Sunday, I take the kid to the clinic and get the official diagnosis. I pick up the antibiotics, drop her off at the house, and try corralling my oldest child to go to lunch with me (leaving idiot with the other two sick kids at home). It's before noon, barely 12 hours after the previous conversation. New conversation goes like this:
Me: "You need to give her both the antibiotics and the Motrin."
Him: "How much Motrin do I give her?"
Me: "Are you JOKING? I just told you last night. Do you remember? Do you listen? Do you commit details to memory?! How about you try to remember and let me know what you come up with."
Him: "I don't remember."
Me: "Try. This is really frightening, and as I've said before, you need to consult someone about this ADHD I think you have."
Him: "Ummm, 3/4 of a teaspoon?"
Me: "No!"
Him: "Ummm, 1 teaspoon?"
Sometimes, I amaze myself by actually thinking he should be trusted to be alone with these kids.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Discipline
Child psychologists resoundingly agree that the most important part of discipline in a home is consistency between the parents. Most parents fall a little short of this, but when you hate your spouse, it's a guarantee you won't see eye-to-eye on the discipline approach either. So what does that get you? A bratty set of kids. Thrown in with all the disrespectful comments, eye rolling, yelling matches, and hatred children see between their parents, they also quickly realize that mom and dad don't punish in the same way, or see offenses in the same light. And they exploit this quite well while they employ the same nastiness that the parents use on each other.
It's a lovely lesson for the kids.
Tonight our oldest dropped her drawers and peed on the floor (an event that has never occurred before). While my idiot barely raised his voice (he just said her first and middle name, and then said 'let's go tell mommy what you did'), I had to threaten a spanking (not something I resort to often). You know, the usual good cop (daddy)/bad cop (mommy) routine. My husband is a total softie, which unfortunately requires me to balance him with a super tough-love approach to discipline. I hate that he puts me in this role, but I don't want to raise super brats either. So I am the Bitchy Mom.
A more supportive spouse would meet me in the middle, step up his discipline approach, and allow me to be a nicer mommy which would make me feel a lot better about this motherhood thing right now. Oh, why do I torture myself with the 'what if' game? The reality is that whether we're together or separated/divorced, I'll continue to be the tough one while he gets to play Disneyland Daddy.
Moms get the shit end of the deal much, much too often.
It's a lovely lesson for the kids.
Tonight our oldest dropped her drawers and peed on the floor (an event that has never occurred before). While my idiot barely raised his voice (he just said her first and middle name, and then said 'let's go tell mommy what you did'), I had to threaten a spanking (not something I resort to often). You know, the usual good cop (daddy)/bad cop (mommy) routine. My husband is a total softie, which unfortunately requires me to balance him with a super tough-love approach to discipline. I hate that he puts me in this role, but I don't want to raise super brats either. So I am the Bitchy Mom.
A more supportive spouse would meet me in the middle, step up his discipline approach, and allow me to be a nicer mommy which would make me feel a lot better about this motherhood thing right now. Oh, why do I torture myself with the 'what if' game? The reality is that whether we're together or separated/divorced, I'll continue to be the tough one while he gets to play Disneyland Daddy.
Moms get the shit end of the deal much, much too often.
You're Crazy, I'm Crazy
Being married to a lunatic will make you feel crazy. So when he yells, "but you're the crazy one" my new response is, yes, but you're the one making me crazy. I am sure, darned sure, that my idiot has some level of mental issues going on, whether it's ADHD or bipolar or something along those lines. Because he hates me, every time I point out that he exhibited another classic symptom and should get checked out, he just yells "you're the crazy one". Uh huh.
So let me tell you a crazy store on this guy. For nearly a year now, he's been hiding something in his vehicle from me. I don't know if it's financial records, or a prepaid cell phone where he does his dirty business, or "documentation" on me (during fights he likes to tell me he's documenting me, for the sake of a divorce trial of course), or maybe nothing but he just likes making me crazy, but whatever it is, he kept the vehicle tightly controlled for the past year. The spare key was hidden, his set of keys never left his pocket (he showered next to them, slept next to them) and any time I was near his vehicle he checked to ensure it was locked.
And then we put a new booster seat for the oldest kid in his vehicle, and the kid is smitten with it - it makes her feel like a big kid. So on Mother's Day, when the little kids weren't acting good enough for a public lunch event, I asked our oldest to go to lunch with me. She said yes if we could take daddy's vehicle. I said no, we'd take my car, and made a snide comment about how I'm not allowed in daddy's vehicle. My idiot immediately piped up, "No, you can take it, you can take it any time" which started another world war in my household. I asked him where he was now hiding the stuff, and told him he better not dare act like I was allowed in his car for the past year, which of course he did. I was furious, clawing my way back to reality, and he sat there innocently protesting that nothing had been hidden and I had access all along. All this on Mother's Day.
Seriously, crazy people will make you feel crazy.
I am still trying to determine what had been hidden for the last year. Somehow my idiot stays a step ahead of me despite his lower IQ.
So let me tell you a crazy store on this guy. For nearly a year now, he's been hiding something in his vehicle from me. I don't know if it's financial records, or a prepaid cell phone where he does his dirty business, or "documentation" on me (during fights he likes to tell me he's documenting me, for the sake of a divorce trial of course), or maybe nothing but he just likes making me crazy, but whatever it is, he kept the vehicle tightly controlled for the past year. The spare key was hidden, his set of keys never left his pocket (he showered next to them, slept next to them) and any time I was near his vehicle he checked to ensure it was locked.
And then we put a new booster seat for the oldest kid in his vehicle, and the kid is smitten with it - it makes her feel like a big kid. So on Mother's Day, when the little kids weren't acting good enough for a public lunch event, I asked our oldest to go to lunch with me. She said yes if we could take daddy's vehicle. I said no, we'd take my car, and made a snide comment about how I'm not allowed in daddy's vehicle. My idiot immediately piped up, "No, you can take it, you can take it any time" which started another world war in my household. I asked him where he was now hiding the stuff, and told him he better not dare act like I was allowed in his car for the past year, which of course he did. I was furious, clawing my way back to reality, and he sat there innocently protesting that nothing had been hidden and I had access all along. All this on Mother's Day.
Seriously, crazy people will make you feel crazy.
I am still trying to determine what had been hidden for the last year. Somehow my idiot stays a step ahead of me despite his lower IQ.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Tone of Voice
Like everyone in a bad marriage, I am a hypocrite. I consistently preach to my idiot about using a nicer tone of voice yet I can't muster it myself most of the time. We question each others' motives so much that any comment, any question is fraught with layers-deep suspicion.
Appropriate tone of voice is hard to prove. Trust me. No matter how many times I've said "that was a really rude tone of voice", my husband argues it wasn't, and throws in his perennial follow-up: "you should have heard the way you talked to me".
But I caught him red handed this weekend. I was in a room, talking to a toddler, playing cutesy games with her when I uttered a "what are you doing" in a play-like suspicious voice, the kind you use on a toddler playing a hiding game or something similar. As fate would have it, my idiot walked into the room at the exact moment I uttered that phrase to the baby, and he immediately starting yelling, "WHAT?! I'M CLEANING UP A ROOM!". A complete knee-jerk reaction, as always.
I smiled, said I was talking to the toddler and that his reaction was unwarranted and proved malice. He walked out of the room and didn't talk to me for a while - his way of handling defeat. He was afraid I'd rub it in or lecture him about it.
Too bad it won't change his behavior. He just can't help himself.
Appropriate tone of voice is hard to prove. Trust me. No matter how many times I've said "that was a really rude tone of voice", my husband argues it wasn't, and throws in his perennial follow-up: "you should have heard the way you talked to me".
But I caught him red handed this weekend. I was in a room, talking to a toddler, playing cutesy games with her when I uttered a "what are you doing" in a play-like suspicious voice, the kind you use on a toddler playing a hiding game or something similar. As fate would have it, my idiot walked into the room at the exact moment I uttered that phrase to the baby, and he immediately starting yelling, "WHAT?! I'M CLEANING UP A ROOM!". A complete knee-jerk reaction, as always.
I smiled, said I was talking to the toddler and that his reaction was unwarranted and proved malice. He walked out of the room and didn't talk to me for a while - his way of handling defeat. He was afraid I'd rub it in or lecture him about it.
Too bad it won't change his behavior. He just can't help himself.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Bipolar Behavior
The most maddening aspect of my marriage is the way my idiot approaches daily life versus "the events". So day in and day out, we argue incessantly. We scream (yes, in front of the kids sometimes), we hate, we play passive-aggressive games, we make each others' lives unbearable. But on a birthday? Or a holiday? Or Valentine's Day? Well, my husband decides to wipe the slate clean for a day and try to play nice. I end up seething mad over the insanity.
I think this is psychotic. He is either deeply screwed up (a possibility, given his atrocious upbringing), or he is desperate to make the 'appearances' match the occasion. Whichever it is - and I'm still trying to determine which one it is - it drives me totally mad. At least I'm consistently angry and disrespectful. I could tolerate consistency better than I can tolerate the highs and lows he adds to our relationship.
The other bipolar-like behavior is exhibited every day when I juxtapose "working hours" attitude against "in the home" attitude. While at work, and via text messaging (we try really hard not to talk to each other), he is Mr. Happy, Mr. Helpful - all because he's away at work and in control of his destiny. Once he re-enters my realm of control (home) he becomes surly and rude. Despite wishing I had more help with the kids, I am now realizing it's just easier when he's gone. At least the dark cloud isn't hanging over the home.
Am I alone in believing consistency is better than on-again/off-again attempts to be pleasant?
I think this is psychotic. He is either deeply screwed up (a possibility, given his atrocious upbringing), or he is desperate to make the 'appearances' match the occasion. Whichever it is - and I'm still trying to determine which one it is - it drives me totally mad. At least I'm consistently angry and disrespectful. I could tolerate consistency better than I can tolerate the highs and lows he adds to our relationship.
The other bipolar-like behavior is exhibited every day when I juxtapose "working hours" attitude against "in the home" attitude. While at work, and via text messaging (we try really hard not to talk to each other), he is Mr. Happy, Mr. Helpful - all because he's away at work and in control of his destiny. Once he re-enters my realm of control (home) he becomes surly and rude. Despite wishing I had more help with the kids, I am now realizing it's just easier when he's gone. At least the dark cloud isn't hanging over the home.
Am I alone in believing consistency is better than on-again/off-again attempts to be pleasant?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Roof Over Our Heads
In all marriages, there's the small stuff and the big stuff that annoys.
Some small things I hate about my idiot (this takes self control to keep the list short):
The big issues:
Six months ago I narrowed our choices down to two shingles. It should have been a quick decision from there, with a new roof on the house within a month. I'm not sure what world he's been living in, but he's just now acknowledging that we're down to a choice between two shingles. And he's realized this with just eight days to go until the money is denied (mind you, technically the work must be completed by the roofer to get paid by the insurance company ... all in eight days ... ha ha ha ha ha). This is a perfect case of me letting the idiot manage something and disaster being the result. I gave him a chance to fail, and he failed. As always.
So here we are tonight, with the clock ticking, and no roof decision (he has not consulted me tonight about the final shingle decision, which means he has still not decided).
Procrastinate = It's too late.
I know I'm Type A, and live by high standards, and am decisive, but come on ... who other than my idiot would put us this perilously close to losing our insurance money?
And the best part of this whole day? When I pointed out his idiocy, he tried to blame it on me. This is his usual response - "it's the wife's fault". Or at least someone else's fault, if the wife can't be blamed. It's never his mistake. Never.
And he wonders why I question his competence and let him handle so few household affairs. Hmmmm. Let's think. Hard.
A therapist might suggest that it's my very assumption of his failure (and loudly communicating it to him) that is actually the cause of his failures. I have a hard time believing this, because when someone assumes I'm going to fail, I try my darndest to prove him wrong. I allow for my husband being wired so differently that he might just accept defeat, but if applicable here, at what point does a man like him say Stop! Enough! I have to fix this! ?
And let's say we end up with a roof and the insurance money in quick fashion - is that success? No. It's not, because we should have avoided this fire drill altogether by keeping an eye on the overall timeline.
And for the ultimate in "blame games" and indecisiveness, my idiot indicated during a fight a few years ago that it was I who pushed him into marriage and kids, and he didn't want any of it, and so now it's all my fault we're having problems. Hmmmmm. Do I even need to dissect the ludicrous nature of that for you smart gals? The implications of that one comment are enormous. He doesn't see any of this - our marital mess - as his fault, or his to fix.
And I married this guy.
Some small things I hate about my idiot (this takes self control to keep the list short):
- he never replaces things from our supply cabinet when we run out, like putting toilet paper back on the holder, or putting a soap bar back in the shower after finishing with the old
- he is obsessive about taking girl-length showers just to carve out personal time for himself
- he drinks Coke in gulps until he burps
- he forgets to use a napkin, and I regularly catch him chewing with his mouth open
- he plots his way to taking 25-minute dumps in perfect privacy (no kid interruptions)
- he has to spit into the toilet while peeing, and flushes before he's finished leaving a little hint of yellow in the toilet water
- he leaves lights on everywhere, and has multiple TVs on across the house at one time - he's just plain wasteful
- he still doesn't know how to use a computer, and in fact today I just noted he sent himself an email and didn't even realize it
- he leaves clothes strung all over the house, toothpaste globs in the sink, forgets to spray down the sink, and so on, but argues he's really neat and clean
- he doesn't use proper English (wait, this one isn't so small to me)
The big issues:
- he works too much
- he doesn't help enough with housework or cooking/grocery shopping (or the kids)
- he can't communicate
- he's selfish
- he's incapable of change/adjustment
- he doesn't compromise - he does things his way no matter my opinion
- he's disorganized and scatterbrained
- he's indecisive
- he only cares about appearances
- he is not financially competent
- he is untrustworthy and unethical
- he is not intelligent
- he refuses to acknowledge he might have some issues worth working on
Six months ago I narrowed our choices down to two shingles. It should have been a quick decision from there, with a new roof on the house within a month. I'm not sure what world he's been living in, but he's just now acknowledging that we're down to a choice between two shingles. And he's realized this with just eight days to go until the money is denied (mind you, technically the work must be completed by the roofer to get paid by the insurance company ... all in eight days ... ha ha ha ha ha). This is a perfect case of me letting the idiot manage something and disaster being the result. I gave him a chance to fail, and he failed. As always.
So here we are tonight, with the clock ticking, and no roof decision (he has not consulted me tonight about the final shingle decision, which means he has still not decided).
Procrastinate = It's too late.
I know I'm Type A, and live by high standards, and am decisive, but come on ... who other than my idiot would put us this perilously close to losing our insurance money?
And the best part of this whole day? When I pointed out his idiocy, he tried to blame it on me. This is his usual response - "it's the wife's fault". Or at least someone else's fault, if the wife can't be blamed. It's never his mistake. Never.
And he wonders why I question his competence and let him handle so few household affairs. Hmmmm. Let's think. Hard.
A therapist might suggest that it's my very assumption of his failure (and loudly communicating it to him) that is actually the cause of his failures. I have a hard time believing this, because when someone assumes I'm going to fail, I try my darndest to prove him wrong. I allow for my husband being wired so differently that he might just accept defeat, but if applicable here, at what point does a man like him say Stop! Enough! I have to fix this! ?
And let's say we end up with a roof and the insurance money in quick fashion - is that success? No. It's not, because we should have avoided this fire drill altogether by keeping an eye on the overall timeline.
And for the ultimate in "blame games" and indecisiveness, my idiot indicated during a fight a few years ago that it was I who pushed him into marriage and kids, and he didn't want any of it, and so now it's all my fault we're having problems. Hmmmmm. Do I even need to dissect the ludicrous nature of that for you smart gals? The implications of that one comment are enormous. He doesn't see any of this - our marital mess - as his fault, or his to fix.
And I married this guy.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Incapable Of Change
First thing this morning, I traded obscenities with the husband. He was avoiding breakfast duty (like he does every morning), and I was angry about it (like I am every morning). Same fight, different day.
This is one of my basic issues here. It's the issue of "change". I think stupid people can't change. I think they aren't introspective enough, or emotionally savvy enough, to navigate a new approach, try something different. No matter what our issue, my husband approaches it the same way he always has, which clearly hasn't been effective otherwise we might have a slice of that marital bliss. I took him to counseling a while back. It was a waste - he couldn't make necessary adjustments even the therapist was suggesting.
Now I know the old "people don't change" adage. And yes, I agree with it overall. I think the change I'm talking about here is not necessarily monumental, but small incremental adjustments that make someone a better person and a better spouse. My husband truly seems incapable of adjustments.
A good example: the therapist said to him "you need to stop over-promising and under-delivering. Flip the equation: under-promise and over-deliver. It makes for a happier wife." Two years later, he is still a master of failed promises. I just hope he never, ever pulls this on the kids, who are at this point too young to hold him to promises.
And before anyone asks if I tried making any changes, or if I'm capable, the answer is yes. Having seen this same therapist on and off for about eight years (from before my marriage), I know that once I worked through an issue with her I was able to make behavioral adjustments and move on. Sound advice, change. Sound advice, change. I repeated this pattern with her several times. During the marriage counseling stint, I was able to make adjustments then too. The problem was that I was met with the same unchanging behavior from idiot husband. He wasn't meeting me in the middle. So I gave up. On marriage counseling, on the marriage. But I'm still here, because of the kids and because of our financial situation.
I'm trapped. For now. So please tell me I'm not alone.
This is one of my basic issues here. It's the issue of "change". I think stupid people can't change. I think they aren't introspective enough, or emotionally savvy enough, to navigate a new approach, try something different. No matter what our issue, my husband approaches it the same way he always has, which clearly hasn't been effective otherwise we might have a slice of that marital bliss. I took him to counseling a while back. It was a waste - he couldn't make necessary adjustments even the therapist was suggesting.
Now I know the old "people don't change" adage. And yes, I agree with it overall. I think the change I'm talking about here is not necessarily monumental, but small incremental adjustments that make someone a better person and a better spouse. My husband truly seems incapable of adjustments.
A good example: the therapist said to him "you need to stop over-promising and under-delivering. Flip the equation: under-promise and over-deliver. It makes for a happier wife." Two years later, he is still a master of failed promises. I just hope he never, ever pulls this on the kids, who are at this point too young to hold him to promises.
And before anyone asks if I tried making any changes, or if I'm capable, the answer is yes. Having seen this same therapist on and off for about eight years (from before my marriage), I know that once I worked through an issue with her I was able to make behavioral adjustments and move on. Sound advice, change. Sound advice, change. I repeated this pattern with her several times. During the marriage counseling stint, I was able to make adjustments then too. The problem was that I was met with the same unchanging behavior from idiot husband. He wasn't meeting me in the middle. So I gave up. On marriage counseling, on the marriage. But I'm still here, because of the kids and because of our financial situation.
I'm trapped. For now. So please tell me I'm not alone.
Rules Of The Game
I will bitch about the husband. You complain about yours. We log off and feel better knowing we're not alone. At least that's the idea here.
Sometimes I'll be wordy and thoughtful, analyzing how "we" ended up here; sometimes I'll be brief, just relating the latest husband antics. Sometimes I'll talk about current events and sometimes past, depending on my mood. Sometimes I'll add expert opinion (links to good articles) or actual therapist advice.
The one constant: I don't suffer fools lightly (hence my current state with husband), so don't post stupid, ill-formed, grammatically questionable comments here (and please correct me when I screw up). This forum is for smart girls who had momentary lapses in judgment when marrying their idiots.
Now let's talk!
Sometimes I'll be wordy and thoughtful, analyzing how "we" ended up here; sometimes I'll be brief, just relating the latest husband antics. Sometimes I'll talk about current events and sometimes past, depending on my mood. Sometimes I'll add expert opinion (links to good articles) or actual therapist advice.
The one constant: I don't suffer fools lightly (hence my current state with husband), so don't post stupid, ill-formed, grammatically questionable comments here (and please correct me when I screw up). This forum is for smart girls who had momentary lapses in judgment when marrying their idiots.
Now let's talk!
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